MURPHY'S bLAW..........g

It seems like in every class you have in college, or at least this has been the case for me, you always have one person in there that thinks that they are super smart, and these people always feel the need to give their opinion.

However, in reality they are really stupid and have no idea what the hell they are talking about.

There was this girl that was in my Child and Family Studies class this semester, and she had the most nasally/stoner voice ever.  She was the person in this class that I have described above. If I knew that she was going to end up talking so much, I would have asked her to blow her nose before she came to class so that she would sound normal.

She would always talk about her older sister who had a two-year old girl named Lyle.  Our teacher would describe a scenario and then ask if anyone had encountered an example of this in their lives, and this girl always had an example relating to Lyle.  She would tell a story like “Lyle was screaming in a store and my sister was like, if you keep screaming then we’re going home, and Lyle didn’t stop screaming so they went home and that relates to how divorce can affect children”.

She would just sit there and act like she just stood in front of the class and then took a big information-packed, universe-aligning, point-proving dump that we should all bask in. The enlightenment she has just dispensed should blow our minds.

I never had any idea what the fuck she was talking about.

I had to go to the post office today because I have been selling my textbooks on-line.  I’ve sold two for $35 bucks which is no joke way more than the bookstore at UT would give you for six books.  Cheap-skates.

Anyways, I forgot that it is “the holidays” and that the line at the post office would be super long.  It took 36 minutes.

It’s times like these that I wish that life was like Harry Potter, and that I could have used magic to trick all of those muggles.  Or, that I was a Jedi, had a light saber, and I could use the force. Either scenario, with one wave of my hand I could convince everyone there that I was next in line.

Wait.  What’s that sound?  It’s the sound of every attractive girl remotely interested in dating me changing their mind because I just said that.

Speaking of which, we have new neighbors that live above us this year and one of them is very pretty.  I guess I have a small crush on her, so my roommates and I have tried to get to know her and our other neighbors over the last month.  She’s very pretty, really nice, she bakes very well, she has a pretty name in my opinion (Hallie), and she has very nice teeth, but I’m becoming skeptical of her.  She kind of dresses like a hippie, she is either as tall as me or taller, I think that she is super religious, she “Tim Tebows” it up a lot (goes on mission trips…but there’s nothing wrong with that), and what may be the deal breaker….she plays ultimate frisbee.

She also has a boyfriend.

Almost every girl I’ve liked in the past two years has a boyfriend (I need to stop this).  I’m like Dane Cook in “Good Luck Chuck” (terrible, terrible movie), except all I have to do is have a crush on you and you’ll find happiness with someone else.  I hate Dane Cook so much, so I guess that it is fitting that I sort of in a way ended up like a character he plays and that I hate it.

My rationality cracks me up sometimes.  I just named what I view as this girl’s vices, stating the worst one was that she played ultimate frisbee, when what I should probably be the most worried about is the fact that she has a boyfriend.  I think the boyfriend is definitely the least of my worries though.  He doesn’t even go to school here.  Also, if she doesn’t get into UT nursing school, she is going to transfer schools.  But still…ultimate frisbee (shaking my head in disgust and disapproval).  I’m going to have to continue to get to know this girl before I make a final decision.

Rather than the girls I’m attracted to, let’s talk about the girls that I attract, and how they are usually freaks (or lesbians).

Like my freshman year in high school, this fat girl named Amanda liked me.  I had no idea who she was or what she looked like, but this girl I went to grade school with was friends with her and was trying to get me to talk to her.  I decided to check her out which I immediately regretted as soon as I saw her.  I never spoke a word to her our four years of high school together.  She lost tons of weight and ended up being kind of a “butter-face” (not really though…that’s just me being nice), but she hung out with ugliest, trashiest, and scariest girls in our class.

Still, she had to like me when she was fat.

Then there’s this girl that my sister and I work with.  This girl is mentally unstable, and she’s kind of ugly too.  A couple of our co-workers have suggested us dating, as well as some of the older kids at the day-care, to which I always respond “Gross”.

Anyway, she tells my sister all this weird stuff and that she has a crush on me, so now I try to avoid her like the plague.  If she talks to me I just give candid, short-syllable responses.  She acts like she knows me really well or something, which really bothers me, and she always thinks that I’m in a bad mood, but really I just wish she would never talk to me again.

Her dad just died, which is sad and I’m sure it is certainly hard to deal with, but she brings it up way too much.

Anyone:  “So Natalie, do you like apples?”

Her:  “They’re okay, and my dad’s dead.”

One day this eight year old boy sat down next to her and asked her a simple question, “Do you still live with your mom?”  This prompted her to freak out on this poor kid saying, “Yeah, I do still live with my mom because my dad died and I had to move home and start working here.”

I’m not usually one to butt into things that aren’t my business, but I turned around and said, “That was a little uncalled for (you crazy bitch).”

Then yesterday, I made a smart comment about something that she did and she told me that I was the reason she was depressed.  She laughed after she said it, and then walked off like it was a completely normal thing to say, but even typing this now it still freaks me out.

Bitch is crazy.

I guess where I was going with that is…

1.  I seem to attract weirdos, and…

2.  I’m attracted to girls with boyfriends.

Lastly, Degrassi might be the best show ever.  I’ve only watched it a handful of times since it doesn’t come on regular cable, it’s pretty terrible acting, but for some reason I still I love it. They don’t sugar-coat anything.  The first episode I ever saw, a girl got raped.  Another, a guy got stabbed at a party and died.

I was babysitting the other night and when the kids had gone to bed, I decided to watch some Degrassi.  This episode was CRAZY!  Marco, who apparently now is school president, decided to have a blood drive.

BUT THEN…

They wouldn’t take Marco’s blood because he was gay, and he was the one that arranged the whole event. (WHAT!?)

Crazy stuff.  The parents showed up and I figured I should change the channel, so I didn’t get to see how it ended.